My hand yearns to scream on paper, yet I can't seem  to compose my thoughts into words. everything is overwhelming, to an extent where I wonder sometimes if I am capable of going through this. What is it that I want to achieve so badly that i'm willing to sacrifice so much, to endure so much. Is it even too much or am I being petty? How many alcoves can I juggle before they all come tumbling to the ground, leaving me sore and empty handed. Or will I just keep adding more, throwing higher and faster higher and faster higher and faster until I get used to their weight in my hands, and until my arms no longer complain? And yet just as I start to get too comfortable with the weight, I throw in another alcove and force myself to throw even faster and even higher.